Thread: Let's drown in our collective depravity

I´ve been an on and off listener since the beginning (on for about 3 years). And I finally came to the dark side to join the forum, besides being productive is overrated. I´ll try not to be a lurker but no promises.
Anyway, I love poor impulse control, DIY surgery, interesting injuries, copious amounts of whiskey and/or coffee, and overanalyzing serial killers. I genuinely love West Virginia; it has a drunken uninhibited backcountry charm that´s enticing despite it being backwards as fuck. It´s not the horrible place Dee and Wackerle make it out to be. I won´t drag on like any of you really want to know about my interests but I wanted to say hello. I´ll wait till a few people reply before posting on the `have you ever witnessed a murder´ thread so people don´t get incensed that I am breaking protocol.

Wonderful. A lovely little insightful intro and well written too. Welcome to the forum. You mentioned not breaking with protocol so let's get that little matter out of the way and then we can get on with hearing about the murder you witnessed.

We're ready when you are. Just remember to write S&W on them.

Emps?................Emps?........................ ....EMPS?.......................Where is he?

The only murder I don't want to see is my own. I've told my family members to shove a brown beer bottle up my ass and kick it. Fucking kinky morticians can have a piece of that. Other then that scenario you can use me as a coffee table is the most I give a fuck. For those who die in my presents will get a street sign in the ass. Either "stop" or "this stretch of highway adopted by".

Just stop by to have a piss!

Originally Posted by Crusher

How far does your DIY surgery go? Like, draining your own abscesses or... removing your own appendix? Do you take pictures of your injuries? Do you have any?

And hey! Youre from Chicago!

I feel like this is where I should say 'Chi till I die' or something but I just can't be that douchey, but I am excited that I'm not the only listener in Chicago. Are you downtown or in the burbs?

It´s simple medical stuff, more than enough to freak out my EMT friends though. I more like hearing and seeing what other people have done, it's hysterical and grossly fascinating. If the need arises I can do it to myself, I don´t mind blood or being able to see into your body when you shouldn´t. I've given myself a few stitches (like 3), did all the treatment when I had second degree burns with blisters covering the entire back of my hand and some of my palm and a few injuries. I pierced my nose, bellybutton and cartilage myself a few times before getting it done professionally too. I wouldn´t go out of my way to do it since I´m not a gore freak or a masochist, I just have an abnormally high tolerance for pain and think it´s more efficient to deal with shit myself when I can rather than waste time and money at the ER.

Recently I accidentally ripped open my hand. The blood splatter on impact made it seem worse than it was but shitty all the same. At first the blood spray misted all over the ground, then when I went to look at it, it splattered blood all over my face and neck, which made me think I had slit my wrist or ripped through the tattoo I had gotten a few weeks earlier, but it was just my hand and the hand-matter coming out of it lol. I wanted to do exactly what the doctor did and just push it back in and stitch it up but my friend wasn´t having it.

So I sashayed my drunk ass into the ER at 3am with my shirt wrapped around my hand and got yelled at for the next few hours about why I was only in my bra, which given the circumstance I thought was quite obvious and for being drunk, then they refused to sew me up and send me on my way until I stopped taking pictures, videos and laughing. You think they would be happy that someone as drunk as I was had a good sense of humor about it instead of being all dramatic. I ended up with ten stitches and a little nerve damage; so it was a good thing I didn´t take the DIY route. I had to take the stitches out myself because the doctors that I saw wouldn´t do it yet but I was going on a rock climbing training trip out in the middle of nowhere and couldn´t climb with them in. The only time I regret attempting to fix something myself was when I kneeled on a nail sticking out of the carpet and tried to pull it out, taking the nail, the carpet and the padding off the floor, but when something is in your leg you don´t really think about that.

Oh and I've seen like 6 fucked up deaths but only one that would have been murder. I think it was just assault with a deadly weapon though, I didn't really stick around to find out. But I'm going to post the other ones anyway