Hello everyone. I just have to comment an old episode (250 halloween special). Just listened to it the first time and this one thing caught my attention.
An English chap named Joe had written an e-mail on which he said that he had participated and won a speed wanking race on a TV-show called "Banzai" (back in the 90s). He won the race and his time was 1 minute 20 seconds. The guy told that he searched the internet for similar competitions, but could not find any. He then declared that he is the "World Speed Wanking Champion", and that he is to be called "Champ" where ever he goes.
He is not the world champion of speed wanking. In Finland we had a speed wanking competition in 1981, and the winners time was 3.2 seconds! Yes. 3.2 seconds. Heres a proof from a Finnish pornmag called "Kalle". Yes its in Finnish.
I will translate some of the text, because i have nothing better to do and this terrible error needs to be corrected.
"Sperm flew in 3.2 seconds
9 out of 10 contestants showed up.
The results for speed wanking competiton
1. A.Y. time - 3.2 seconds
2. J.V. time - 17 seconds
3. A.R time - 33.5 seconds."
The text in the picture where the happy wankers are posing says "The competition is over, and the contestants are ready to enjoy sauna and swimming".
The story also mentions, that the judges were pleased to see the psychic power and stamina of the contestants. The judges also say that "we all can be happy for the new speed wanking result. It takes a real pro to beat that. Especially if you think about the pressure and excitement that this kind of competition has."
One of the contestant say in the story that celibacy is a necessary preparation for this kind of competition, and if you fuck very much before the race the result will very likely be bad (makes sense). Other wanker says that "if you think dirty you are more likely to get a better result" The semi-naked girls in the photos are described as "decoys" and they were helping the wankers to get on the right mood. One of the guys also tells that he had too many drinks on the night before the competition and that may have cost him the first place.
So there you have it. The fastest wankers come from Finland. That is probably the reason why there is only about 5 million of us Finns. We come the minute we take our pants off. Oh by the way. Lance said in the podcast, that if he needs semen he goes to this English guy. Now you know better Lance. If you need semen you should come to Finland. Too bad you did not know this before your eurotrip.
I rest my case.