"Open the thread Dee Simon, this is my humble gift..."

[IronMan666]

As one of the greatest hits in sweat reeking spic music says:

"I don't have alot of money
To buy you a new car or stallion
Forgive me sir does gifts are expensive
open the trunk of the car boss
this is my humble gift"

But ofcourse the sweat reeking spic was referring to the corpse of his bosses most capable business rival and the name of the song is called "the expensive gift" incurring to the low value of material objects compared to the labor of love of a loyal subject.

So here is "100 dollar bills will wipe my tears" edited. I would have posted Wackerles prequel, which I think is funnier, but its long as fuck.



Part 3 of the Sick and Wrong Saga:


"100 Dollar bills will wipe my tears!"

Written by IronMan666
© 2011

Part one

Cassio: Reputation, reputation, reputation! O! I have lost my reputation. I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial. My reputation, Iago, my reputation!
-Shakespeare, Othello, the Moor of Venice Act II. Scene III, 242-244.

"HA!" Dee Simon shouted. With a smile in his face for he knew that Sick and Wrong had come to an end with a bang and not a whimper. He was no sentimental, for Dee was a Jew before a human being. Lance Wackerle, even do being his favorite gentile, was nothing but a stepping stone to the accomplishment of his Godless ideal: Achieving immortal recognition in the Secular world. A particularly Greek ideal for a Jew you might say... FUCK YOU! The golden age of the 80´s created a generation of heroes!

There he smiled, watching the news reports in his shitty ipad1 as the socially awkward podcraft host Lance Wackerle shouted to a pre-teen Indian girl with a bleeding crutch that he was sorry, to come to him for he was going to make the pain go away... His wild beard dripping with menstrual blood, only wearing a yellowed white shirt without any pants. O beautiful fate what a gift! Dee Simon knew that fortune belonged to the impetuous and bold, since fortune is a woman and only yields to the man who beats her and knocks her about.

Quickly he googled himself, Wackerle had been identified and Hollywood was going berserk in search of this so called Dee Simon who inhabited their city. With his cool, for he was born for this moment, he picked up his laptop, grabbed his white bitch by the arm and told her she was going to drive. She instinctively bitched as Hollywood whores do, but a look in Dee Simons eyes calmed her, something had changed. Something masculine and unjewlike in him had awakened, the primal gear of female submission hit its course and she accepted the Jew as the dominant role in their relationship.

Dee covers his face with his leather jacket exiting his ghetto home, they drive to a cheap ass hotel, Dee´s white bitch pays in her name and they settle as they kept track of the upcoming developments on the news. The Sick and Wrong dial line was full with interview requests, his dear website had crashed from too much traffic. He was set. He was MOTHERFUCKING DEE SIMON! He was a sparkle of genius my educated audience, who just needed the right environment to light up and raise hell on earth.

Podcasting had never elevated an individual to such social heights my brethren. Perhaps Ricky Gervais or that monotone voice Adam Corolla, but they never made international news. Dee Simon, the Co-host of the much feared Red Beard Yankee! That insane white man, who lost his shit in India, participated in pre-teen orgies with the staff´s children while drinking their deflowered virgin blood in a cult ritual that would make the blue eyed devil in a middle aged crisis young again in his own twisted mind. Or so the media portrayed our Scottish blooded hero. No Gentlemen, you could show Dee Simons face around the world and they´ll recognize him and shout "This is Sick and Wrong!"

Why such recognition? Foreigners who hated America used S&W has a poster child for their enemy, personalizing the fight. Everyone who hated Jews presented Dee as an enemy, all Christians protesting against the moral decline and gay scumbags corrupting culture. The gays who are the worse moralizers bitched about how hateful the show was. How "insensitive" to other peoples suffering. It was racist and sexist and like little children in the playground made whatever nonsensical insult they could muster. Nothing but a multicultural rainbow of whining bitches.

[IronMan666]

Two

Dee Simon got his money; he dumped his girlfriend and replaced her with Eastern European whores, for as his granddaddy used to say: "There is no greater pleasure for our people then taking revenge by making their Nordic women our property." Amen to that Moses lover. From now on he settled to enjoy his moment of fame. Only Hollywood and their deprived people loved him. Not the Hollywood superstars who he dreamt of mingling with, who rejected him do to his negative image in fear his presence would ruin their career. No Dee Simon spent his time with the Mid-western porn actresses whose shattered dream of making it in the entertainment business frosted with bills to pay pushed them to the verges of prostitution and fucking before camera.

How disappointing. But happy days eventually came. Dee Simon was approached by a shitty Reality show who wanted him in. This was Dee Simon´s wet dream, making it big on screen, being himself and finally being loved by the audiences! He took his fantasy a step further with this victory, he working as a director, or writer, being the creative force in Hollywood projects and saving the world from the present modern mediocrity. But it did not turn out so; he was rated by the audience as being an angry asshole with no sympathy for other people. Desperate for the love of the audience he made a terrible move: He explained his anger, some bullshit monologue about having a hard time opening up to people. A man apologizing by explaining the reason behind his anger? The audience rightly branded him a pussy.

Dee Simon had lost the love of the world he so cherished. He collapse in his apartment floor has he pondered how his life had come to this point. So close in achieving universal admiration, now all lost. His reputation... O what terrible madness drove him to reject his friend Lance Wackerle for this meaningless abstraction! Reputation!? BAH! All gone now! His relationship with Lance was as close as two heterosexual men can get. There were no secrets; they were the only individuals who knew each other´s innermost souls...

Being alone and with no one watching, he let go and allowed his sentimental hidden side to come forth, and he wept, finally missing his friend the way a man with no game weeps for his fat ex-girlfriend when no other bitch will take him. But in this miserable state a thought came into his head: You financially profited from your friends down fall. And this fact cheered him up, for he was a Jew before a human being. He smiled; he remembered his bank account and smiled. "To hell with Wackerle!" he said, "100 dollar bills will wipe my tears!"

But having lost the respect and therefore the protection of the common citizens who saw him as a bad boy, pop psychologists raised up against Dee Simon as the demagogue assholes they are. They claimed that he had to be institutionalized. It was irresponsibility from our American Government to allow Dee to parade the streets after the havoc his best friend caused in India. Dee could read the sings written on the walls. He had a brain; he knew psychiatry was total bullshit. There was no science behind it, they voted some bullshit abstraction or behavior into being a disease and latter claimed it being a fact from their authority, which was claimed to be scientifically based...

But you already know this my educated audience. Psychiatry is nothing but the new secular priests of our age in charge of telling us what is good and what is evil, who is condemned and who is saved. Whoever is a quiet dumb worker is deserving Government protection and representation. The crazy fuck with individuality, balls and ideas in their head need to be locked up. Things were heating up in ObamaLand, thus he fled to Germany. In his absence the pop psychologist and talk show hosts convinced the public that Dee was insane, his podcast had to be blocked for the protection of society. They interviewed worried parents with their children as horrified masses saw them with S&W T-Shirts, and so the FCC took control of all blogs, all websites and all podcasts and shut down what the pop-psychologists deemed to be produced by the mentally ill.

There was no stopping them my brothers. Once gained an ounce of power, they went to bed with government and had them implement force to its fellow citizens, their lust for more power is never ending. With claims for social justice and equality, they took control and became the judges and arbiters of society and rejoiced in their power over their fellow men while claiming they were public servants working for the common good!

In Europe Dee Simon felt safe, ironically in Germany since he knew that the Americans had castrated them as a people and his Jewish ass would be safe. That is until the pop-psychologists convinced the public that a law for preventive crime should be put in place. This gave the psychiatrists the power to judge who was a threat and liable to commit a crime, accuse them to the police, judge them without court, accuse them of anti-social behavior and have them arrested. For they claimed, first comes thought, then criminal action.

O and the middle aged cunts who worship Oprah and Dr. fraud Phil loved it! And as it was with the newly given vote to women that elected Mussolini and Hitler, it was the vote of women and their sentiments that once again gave birth to tyranny in the free world.

Dee Simons assets were frozen and a man hunt was put on his head. He called John Steele confused, to which Steel instructed Dee run and explained how kleptocracy had ruled in America and the will of the stupid hungered for his blood. Dee Simon escaped to a Jewish community, who turned their back on him. But because he was a Jew, they told him they wouldn´t call the cops this one time. But they couldn´t help him. "So much for a race of Lawyers!" He thought.

He wondered the low income streets, hunger stricken him and he entered a minimart. In their Dee attempted to steal a candy bar, but was caught. An argument took place, and right when Dee was about to drop on his knees and beg for mercy or play the race card and shout discrimination for judging a Jew a tall blond German approached the store clerk and offered to pay for Dee´s candy, saving our heroes dignity. In the parking lot the kind German told him he knew who he was, he had been a fan of the show for years now and was completely against the tyranny of the US Government against him. He ordered Dee to get in his car, lay low and hid in his home.

Dee was immensely grateful to the man. In the house he met his family, composing of 3 young girls´ ages 15, 13 and 11. His wife did not like the idea, but the husband who was Lord and Master insisted. To Dee Simons surprise the girls were soon walking around the house completely nude. He found out that in Germany its common for families to be nudists (ask a British fuck if you don´t believe me). Oh sweet boners the temptation was great! And so, he dined with the entire family, naked as the day he hatched from his Jew egg. He would lay at night masturbating for hours unable to erase from his mind the image from the Germans long schlong or the virgin hairless legs of his young blonde daughters who were Dee Simon´s fantasy to sexually dominate since his bar mitzvah.

Being unable to leave the house, he spent most of his time with the girls playing bullshit board games. Isolated from the adult world Dee Simon regressed to the personality of his early 20´s. It was a simpler way of living, a simpler way of thinking, and in this simplicity he found he had rediscovered love. So strong were the emotions which the girls in their innocence stirred in him. And the girls loved Dee back: Oh this witty adult they thought, the first man in their young lives! Dee Simon was never direct in his affections towards the blameless innocent creatures, not from moral restrain but since Dee had never crossed the line into pedo-fucking he lacked the boldness for it, as it is with things we´ve not experienced. But indirectly he led on, like a sexually frustrated relative not wanting to be wrong in making a direct move on a member of his family and waiting for confirmation to do the deplorable act in secret.

At night, in the attic were Dee Simon slept a noise was heard, the paranoid Jew thought that the German authorities were coming after him by orders of their Mein F?hrer the Kenyan born warmongering chimpanzee. In hi Paranoia he pulls out a kitchen knife and staves wildly in the dark. Something is hit; he jumps over it to drive away all life from it. He staves endlessly, once adrenaline drops, he cautiously turns on the light and to his horror finds it´s the young 15 year old naked! Oh tragedy! The poor angel had climbed the stairs to surrender her young flesh into the arms of the man who owned her inexperienced heart!

Dee Simon panics; he drops the knife, puts on a coat, steals cash from the wives purse and leaves the house. The German father is awaken by the cries of horrors from his wife. He knows he´ll be arrested if he calls the cops for having hidden Dee, or blamed for his daughter´s death himself. Since America had lost interest in Dee Simon by now, the cops would not be consciously looking for Dee, so HIS justice would never be made by the authorities. He kisses his family goodbye and swears to them he´ll have revenge. And so the German heads out looking for a rat. The legend of the Wondering Jew is born.

[IronMan666]

Two

Dee Simon got his money; he dumped his girlfriend and replaced her with Eastern European whores, for as his granddaddy used to say: "There is no greater pleasure for our people then taking revenge by making their Nordic women our property." Amen to that Moses lover. From now on he settled to enjoy his moment of fame. Only Hollywood and their deprived people loved him. Not the Hollywood superstars who he dreamt of mingling with, who rejected him do to his negative image in fear his presence would ruin their career. No Dee Simon spent his time with the Mid-western porn actresses whose shattered dream of making it in the entertainment business frosted with bills to pay pushed them to the verges of prostitution and fucking before camera.

How disappointing. But happy days eventually came. Dee Simon was approached by a shitty Reality show who wanted him in. This was Dee Simon´s wet dream, making it big on screen, being himself and finally being loved by the audiences! He took his fantasy a step further with this victory, he working as a director, or writer, being the creative force in Hollywood projects and saving the world from the present modern mediocrity. But it did not turn out so; he was rated by the audience as being an angry asshole with no sympathy for other people. Desperate for the love of the audience he made a terrible move: He explained his anger, some bullshit monologue about having a hard time opening up to people. A man apologizing by explaining the reason behind his anger? The audience rightly branded him a pussy.

Dee Simon had lost the love of the world he so cherished. He collapse in his apartment floor has he pondered how his life had come to this point. So close in achieving universal admiration, now all lost. His reputation... O what terrible madness drove him to reject his friend Lance Wackerle for this meaningless abstraction! Reputation!? BAH! All gone now! His relationship with Lance was as close as two heterosexual men can get. There were no secrets; they were the only individuals who knew each other´s innermost souls...

Being alone and with no one watching, he let go and allowed his sentimental hidden side to come forth, and he wept, finally missing his friend the way a man with no game weeps for his fat ex-girlfriend when no other bitch will take him. But in this miserable state a thought came into his head: You financially profited from your friends down fall. And this fact cheered him up, for he was a Jew before a human being. He smiled; he remembered his bank account and smiled. "To hell with Wackerle!" he said, "100 dollar bills will wipe my tears!"

But having lost the respect and therefore the protection of the common citizens who saw him as a bad boy, pop psychologists raised up against Dee Simon as the demagogue assholes they are. They claimed that he had to be institutionalized. It was irresponsibility from our American Government to allow Dee to parade the streets after the havoc his best friend caused in India. Dee could read the sings written on the walls. He had a brain; he knew psychiatry was total bullshit. There was no science behind it, they voted some bullshit abstraction or behavior into being a disease and latter claimed it being a fact from their authority, which was claimed to be scientifically based...

But you already know this my educated audience. Psychiatry is nothing but the new secular priests of our age in charge of telling us what is good and what is evil, who is condemned and who is saved. Whoever is a quiet dumb worker is deserving Government protection and representation. The crazy fuck with individuality, balls and ideas in their head need to be locked up. Things were heating up in ObamaLand, thus he fled to Germany. In his absence the pop psychologist and talk show hosts convinced the public that Dee was insane, his podcast had to be blocked for the protection of society. They interviewed worried parents with their children as horrified masses saw them with S&W T-Shirts, and so the FCC took control of all blogs, all websites and all podcasts and shut down what the pop-psychologists deemed to be produced by the mentally ill.

There was no stopping them my brothers. Once gained an ounce of power, they went to bed with government and had them implement force to its fellow citizens, their lust for more power is never ending. With claims for social justice and equality, they took control and became the judges and arbiters of society and rejoiced in their power over their fellow men while claiming they were public servants working for the common good!

In Europe Dee Simon felt safe, ironically in Germany since he knew that the Americans had castrated them as a people and his Jewish ass would be safe. That is until the pop-psychologists convinced the public that a law for preventive crime should be put in place. This gave the psychiatrists the power to judge who was a threat and liable to commit a crime, accuse them to the police, judge them without court, accuse them of anti-social behavior and have them arrested. For they claimed, first comes thought, then criminal action.

O and the middle aged cunts who worship Oprah and Dr. fraud Phil loved it! And as it was with the newly given vote to women that elected Mussolini and Hitler, it was the vote of women and their sentiments that once again gave birth to tyranny in the free world.

Dee Simons assets were frozen and a man hunt was put on his head. He called John Steele confused, to which Steel instructed Dee run and explained how kleptocracy had ruled in America and the will of the stupid hungered for his blood. Dee Simon escaped to a Jewish community, who turned their back on him. But because he was a Jew, they told him they wouldn´t call the cops this one time. But they couldn´t help him. "So much for a race of Lawyers!" He thought.

He wondered the low income streets, hunger stricken him and he entered a minimart. In their Dee attempted to steal a candy bar, but was caught. An argument took place, and right when Dee was about to drop on his knees and beg for mercy or play the race card and shout discrimination for judging a Jew a tall blond German approached the store clerk and offered to pay for Dee´s candy, saving our heroes dignity. In the parking lot the kind German told him he knew who he was, he had been a fan of the show for years now and was completely against the tyranny of the US Government against him. He ordered Dee to get in his car, lay low and hid in his home.

Dee was immensely grateful to the man. In the house he met his family, composing of 3 young girls´ ages 15, 13 and 11. His wife did not like the idea, but the husband who was Lord and Master insisted. To Dee Simons surprise the girls were soon walking around the house completely nude. He found out that in Germany its common for families to be nudists (ask a British fuck if you don´t believe me). Oh sweet boners the temptation was great! And so, he dined with the entire family, naked as the day he hatched from his Jew egg. He would lay at night masturbating for hours unable to erase from his mind the image from the Germans long schlong or the virgin hairless legs of his young blonde daughters who were Dee Simon´s fantasy to sexually dominate since his bar mitzvah.

Being unable to leave the house, he spent most of his time with the girls playing bullshit board games. Isolated from the adult world Dee Simon regressed to the personality of his early 20´s. It was a simpler way of living, a simpler way of thinking, and in this simplicity he found he had rediscovered love. So strong were the emotions which the girls in their innocence stirred in him. And the girls loved Dee back: Oh this witty adult they thought, the first man in their young lives! Dee Simon was never direct in his affections towards the blameless innocent creatures, not from moral restrain but since Dee had never crossed the line into pedo-fucking he lacked the boldness for it, as it is with things we´ve not experienced. But indirectly he led on, like a sexually frustrated relative not wanting to be wrong in making a direct move on a member of his family and waiting for confirmation to do the deplorable act in secret.

At night, in the attic were Dee Simon slept a noise was heard, the paranoid Jew thought that the German authorities were coming after him by orders of their Mein F?hrer the Kenyan born warmongering chimpanzee. In hi Paranoia he pulls out a kitchen knife and staves wildly in the dark. Something is hit; he jumps over it to drive away all life from it. He staves endlessly, once adrenaline drops, he cautiously turns on the light and to his horror finds it´s the young 15 year old naked! Oh tragedy! The poor angel had climbed the stairs to surrender her young flesh into the arms of the man who owned her inexperienced heart!

Dee Simon panics; he drops the knife, puts on a coat, steals cash from the wives purse and leaves the house. The German father is awaken by the cries of horrors from his wife. He knows he´ll be arrested if he calls the cops for having hidden Dee, or blamed for his daughter´s death himself. Since America had lost interest in Dee Simon by now, the cops would not be consciously looking for Dee, so HIS justice would never be made by the authorities. He kisses his family goodbye and swears to them he´ll have revenge. And so the German heads out looking for a rat. The legend of the Wondering Jew is born.

[Reich]

I know that to some people Eros and Thanatos are closely related but I'm still a bit disappointed that Dee didn't get the chance to enjoy the daughter's sweet love in its physical expression before her bloody end. At least in James Bond films our hero manages to do this before the unfortunate beauty gets whacked.

What happens next? Does Wackman come to Europe to save Dee, and grant absolution to the abject, sobbing Jew? Surely Sleazy E can arrange some kind of cross-channel rescue for his chutzpah chum?

[IronMan666]

The continuation with Dee is a parody of the wondering Jew obviously.

Wackerle makes his apparence in part 2, whimpering toothless chav in part 1. Part 4 is entirely about whimpering toothless chav and Wackerle which is my favorite one so far.

Docs Quest for greatness will fit somewhere eventually.

[Starkcontrast]

I believe this may be your Magnum Opus tranny from El Armpito, these need to be collected into a mighty tome so that mankind will always know of the Jew Simon and be guided by his wisdom.
I'm thinking this beeing like the Bible in "Book Of Eli".

Seriously, keep it up, these are great.
(Realise I'm a little late to the party here.)

[Reich]

mankind will always know of the Jew Simon and be guided by his wisdom.

Don't forget Pants Wankerle.