Thread: Embarrassing Sex

As I'm sure you have all heard of one of my embarrassing sexual experiences, just wondering who has the worst.

A guy came in my ear once. Usually i swallow. but his precum and dick just tasted nasty. So i got the fuck out of the way when i could tell he was close. He was a virgin, the whole thing took about 2 minutes tops. Thinking about him now, and the whole thing just really grosses me out. He is the ugliest guy i've ever met. And i know a guy who was born with Treacher Collins syndrome.
He looks like this. Only with Emo hair.

He doesn't like pain. So he'd never actually try to commit suicide. But he just talks about it all the damn time. He is getting his name changed from Jacob to Ayden. Faggot.

OK. This one has been pressing in my mind for awhile. I fingered and fucked this nasty bitch once when I was a kid. I was far from home and was out all night. I called my grandpa to pick me up at like five in the morning. My dick and hands smelled like six week old tuna microwaved. I got in the truck and sat on my hands the whole drive home and a trip to McDonalds.

Devon your a cunt. What is Norwich like?

I don't think so brother. Denver is fucked! I got pulled out of a doggie style and punched in the face by daddy. He pulled us down a flight of stairs by our hair. He called up his wife to talk shit as I gathered myself. Balls hanging I told him he'd fucked up. I broke his face open and ran like hell. Not nearly as embarrassing as cunt stink in front of my grandpa..

I once fingered a girl in an alley while waiting for a taxi, that cabbie knew exactly what we had been doing. You couldn't of missed how flustered the girl was and her messed up hair.

It got worse when he picked my girlfriend and me up from a club 2 days later (woops school boy error)

I was at a camping at a nascar race and got a little drunk. Flirted with a girl in line for a porta-potty and followed her in one. I got her pants down, stuck a finger in her ass and BOOM! she let go and I got covered in shit! I ran the hell outa there striped off what I could and had to hit up campsites on the way back to mine for free beers to wash myself off with. She showed up the next night at our party, caught a glimpse of me and bee-lined the fuck out of there. Hindsight tells me there was a reason she was in line for the bathroom.

A while back it was my friend's 21st b-day party and my boyfriend and I were broken up at the time. He had been my first, so I decided I was going to do whatever/whomever the fuck I wanted to at this party.

I get there late after work and everyone's pretty much hammered except for this one guy who I had flirted with in the past and he had made allusions to how big he was. I figured why not and since was a smoker (green) he waited for me to chug a few beers and catch up to where everyone else was.

We go back to his SUV for some privacy . . . we're fooling around . . . my shirt and bra come off . . . his pants and boxers came down . . . . I am totally baffled that I don't even begin to wiggle my jeans off my hips. (SIDENOTE: at this point I had only had sex with one guy, but I was a master at fellatio and really hadn't been confronted with anything smaller than 7.)

Dude is the length and girth of my thumb and that might be overestimating. Thing is, I don't mess with nigger guys so was curious myself about the myth. FALSE. Big nigger guy, 6'2ish. Little stomach but not fat. Kinda typical looking. So disappointing. And he wasn't even drunk so he couldn't blame it on whiskey dick.

I gave him head. (I know, I know). But afterwards he was saying all this stuff about "that's what he needs in his life" and how "I should be his weekend chick". Wrong. I put him is place real quick. I then proceeded to out him to his friends. <shrug> it's kinda wrong, but he was only a friend of a friend of a friend and shouldn't have lied and made me waste my time.