who's gonna start then?
who's gonna start then?
Don't hate me because I'm better than you... Hate me because I'm a cunt.
Twitter = @MrRedski
I like bread. But i prefer my bread toasted with a little butter and some berry jam.
My toaster toasts 4 slices of bread. It also has a bagel setting. That means it only heats up on one side to toast the bagel. If you're feeling edgy you could use it to toast hamburger buns. It's got two dials on the front to control how long your toast is toasted. The numbers range from 1-6.
When i make toast i like to set the dial to 4. It makes the perfect toast. Golden brown, but still kinda soft.
When i make a bagel or a English muffin... this is where shit gets complicated. It really depends on my mood on how i cook them. The dial is set to six. Sometimes, i set it to six, and then once it pops up i set it to two.
When i make English Muffins, if i want a crunchy muffin, i cut it apart and put it in the toaster. If i want a soft muffin with a crunchy outside, i just throw it in. Then i pull it apart it's just amazing.
If i am making a bagel, i only like the outisde toasted. And well, what's the point of using the bagel setting? Psh. Yeah right. I throw it in closed. I usually have 2 bagels. Most the time i make it to the third bagel and i'm stuffed. So, in reality i am saving us a few cents by not using the bagel setting.
So yeah. There's that.
Some woman just collapsed on the corner. Firefighters came. Shes okay now.
(traditionally the first post in the thread sets the stage for the following posts, providing an example of or an explanation for the thread title, which is meant to draw a new poster to the thread)
This is me trying to be nice to the retard so that he doesnt get snot all over his keyboard crying.
Last edited by Crusher; 10-28-2010 at 11:05 PM.
Originally Posted by Rotting Camel Ass
god damn!!! that's one fat ass kid, i blame the parents, but fortunately the child will prolly not reproduce and pass on its fat genes
i don't think the people at rolaids ever won any spelling bees
My friend and I were walking home from school. We heard a moaning and we walked into a yard could see the head of a big fat guy who must have been working on his car and was being crushed. The fat fuck used blocks of wood and bricks to hold his car up and we called 911 and waited until they got fat fuck out. Later we talked about maybe we should have tried to get it off the guy but we were high and it didn't occur to us.
Another story that is true
My friends and I went "train Jumping" we would hop onto trains. So I hopped on first and was riding for a while and didn't see my friends and jumped from car to car until I was almost to the front of the row of trains. I rode the train all the way into the city and got off and the fuck heads were not there. I took a bus home covered in nigger from the dirty trains and then walked miles to where I hid my bike. The next day I phoned my friends and asked what happened, they said they didn't want to get their clothes dirty and changed their minds...
Last edited by Fartinmowler; 10-28-2010 at 11:43 PM.
If anyone else in the world posted something about food they wouldn't be made fun of. But once the fat girl mentions she eats it's a big deal. I bet you thought that was hilarious didn't you? Posting something like that. Well sir, you fail at insulting people. Once again, i'm going to give you some more time to come up with something better to post.
Think hard, RuPaul.
When I was a teen my friend and I were watching his dads band in his basement. We snuck in a bottle of Gin and were drinking it with water. I don't remember much of the night but I was found at the bottom his lane in a ditch in the winter. I was wearing only a t shirt and one glove and some family pulled me into there kitchen and called parents...I do remember the yellow linoleum and bright lights and after that nothing. I had alcohol poisoning and was sick for the whole next day and my parents never mentioned it after that night...I have never had a drink of Gin again.
Its only because skinny people dont eat. Especially not bread. Bread is evil. (Like the froo-its of the Devil. Evil)
And theres no bread in Russia for sure. Only wood and vodka. Its how Bester keeps his girlish figure.
True story.
My 'Epic Shit Story' By Swamphead
My girlfriend and i went driving around europe for a month 2 years ago. Stopped off in an amazing Gorges Du Tarn near Montpelier in France. Stayed in a super cute little camp site with lovely big clean comunial shower/toilet blocks. Camping canouing and BBQs n boozing.
But these memories are tainted in my mind.
One night about half way though our stay we went an had a meal in the town 10 mins walk away. Great food an loads of cheese and wine an then.. oh man i got to shit realllly bad so i went to find the toilet, which backed out onto the resturant floor right in the middle of the dining floor and it was heaving. We payed up quickly and started the walk in the dark back to the tent. I was doing squeeky bum walk all the way back needing a shit so bad i thought i was going to turn inside out, which by the end my girl said it looked like i had tourettes shuffeling along trying to not explode. I could see the stalls so i broke into a run, ohh man home fre.. this old lady came out of the wash room with her pots and pans and took me the. fuck. out. I stood up and just exploded man, L said i looked like i had a jet pack in my shorts that was powered by hot chocolate (i was wearing cut off shorts) and once i started i couldnt stop i just shook and let out a painful sigh for a few mins.
Unfortunately they closed the wash room in 5 mins so there was a queue of about 200 people all watching me wide eyed and open mouthed as i stiff legged it into a stall. It was one of those fucking stupid hole in the ground toilets too, so i stipped of to assess the damage. It came out with such force it was in my long blonde hair down my back. My leg hair was a matted shitty mess. Then a small boy talking to his mum opened the door which i forgot to lock in my rush, then stood open mouthed holding the fucking stall door open in view of the poopy devistation, (im sure at night a huge tattooed hairy ass bearded shit covered viking haunts his dreams), so anyone who didnt see me shit over most of the campsite the first time saw me naked and covered in shit the second time. I had to wrestle the door from the little fucker. I boot heeled my underpants and shirt into the toilet 'hole' for some reason and flushed them away (which fucked the campsite toilets for 3 days after).
An then they shut the fucking hot water off so i had to sleep like that.
The end.
No poo story can beat violently shitting infront of 200 french people.
Never argue with an idiot, they might be doing the same thing.
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