My friend texted this to me, was having a shitty day and it cheered me up, thought I'd share the love. One more thing, its more of a British sweet thing, the 'candy' in America is wank.

Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he replied. He touched her Creme Eggs and slipped his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks and she played with his Tic Tacs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy centre. But 3 days later his sherbert dib-dab started to itch. Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset and he fucks Allsorts.