Right then, for the past 9 months i've been volunteering at a well known Charity Shop, I assure you this is not simply out of the kindness of my heart. And over this time i've ended up with with quite a few stories to tell, so I though i'd start recording them incase anyone else enjoys laughing at the mis-fortuned and mentally retarded.
For months now we've had the same customer come in every saturday at 11am, like clockwork, he arrives clad in the same garms everytime. A pair of cream chinos with no shirt but a long cream raincoat coated in numerous holes and suspicious looking stains. I'll mention here that he is about 70, so his clothes aren't that out of the ordinary for the elderly gentleman whos almost given up on living. He has huge grey sideburns, the kind you'd expect on a victorian gentleman and always wears the same dirty cream bobble-hat. The stench of piss that trails this man is unreal, its so bad infact, that we have to douse the air with febreeze after his departure. And to make matters worse he donates bags to the shop when he arrives (which also reak of piss), which I then have to sort out, before spending 5 minutes scrubbing the arroma of urine from my hands.
We've taken to calling this particular gentleman "Jigsaw" as he slightly resembles the killer from "Saw", but mainly because thats his purchase of choice every week. A Jigsaw.
Anyway, a couple of months ago, Jigsaw came into the shop, same time as always 11am, on the dot. And he made his way over to the childrens section, where we store the Jigsaws, only to discover that the manager had moved the Jigsaws onto a bottom shelf. I saw out of the corner of my eye as he tried to bend at the knees to lower himself to the level of the Jigsaw's, I take it he hadn't bend over in a while as when he did, the seem on the back of his trousers tore apart, leaving a huge hole in the buttock area and his bare, grey haired ass open to the elements. Lucky for him, his jacket was long enough to hide most of the tear. I thought he'd have noticed the tear, it was pretty loud, everyone in the shop realised what he'd done, apart from him. He just carried on merrily inspecting each Jigsaw box, unaware of his accident. He stood up from his inspection not holding a Jigsaw, I presumed that he was just not in the mood that day. But he must have had a quick change of mind as he dropped back down again to pick up a box, this time he bent at the hips, lifting his jacket up his back, exposing the tear. Now in plain view, everyone could see it wasn't so much of a tear, more like a giant hole exposing his entire upperleg area and his lack of underwear. The result being that I found myself looking eye to brown eye with a senial old man, his saggy balls where literaly about a foot long in length. It may have been the most disgusting thing i've ever seen outside of the internet. His wrinkled hairy balls then, as he rose back up, managed to settle themselves outside the tear in his chinos. So that as he walked out the shop, his nuts sat on the outside of his trousers like a tail. I've no idea how long before he realised there was a draft in his trousers, but he decided to just walk out of the store without paying for the Jigsaw, I just let him though, I didn't really want to keep him in the shop any longer.
I've got more tales if you want them?
Also do your balls really get that low naturally? Surely age can't effect them that much, to make them a foot long? whimpering toothless chav any insight?
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Originally Posted by GimmeJager 
